reflections on a diagnosis of type 2 diabetes

While reading Janet Evanovich's, Explosive Eighteen, I came across these lines. They reflected other people's responses on hearing of my diagnosis and my own response to all of it right now:

"It could be a whole new you."

"I didn't want a new me. I still hadn't figured out the old me."

scattered dust

I have broken into many pieces
pieces which have been crushed to dust particles
and the wind has scattered that dust far and wide
is there no bringing those particles back to whole again?

memories

on this wintry spring day, when I long for the dance of a warmer spring,
I read this and somehow it felt appropriate ...

" .... memories - they are all the aged have. The young have hopes and dreams, while the old hold the remains of them in their hands and wonder what has happened to their lives."

The Gift of Rain
~ Tan Twan Eng

filling my beak

in a small moment
watching a sparrow on a branch in the tree through the window pane
twigs and fluff filling it's beak

i am reminded

it is time to fill my own beak
fill it with things
to create
make a nest for my ownself

with moments of rest
in between

my soul

"Understand, I am always trying to figure out
          what the soul is,
        and where hidden,
          and what shape ...

    I believe I will never quite know.
Though I play at the edges of knowing,
             truly I know
      our part is not knowing,
   but looking, and touching, and loving ..."

                                                ~ Bone
                                                   Why I Wake Early
                                                    Mary Oliver

let everything happen

"Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going.
No feeling is final."
Rainer Maria Rilke

3:30 pm 2/10/13

The crows fly by on their daily journey ...